LAKE COUNTY, Fla. – An Ohio mom with ties to Central Florida is sharing her family’s tragic story in the hopes of raising awareness about suicide.
Misty Spadafora’s 16-year-old son, Reed, took his own life on Jan. 18, 2023.
“The last six weeks, he spent most of his time at home with me,” she said. “He’d spend five nights a week watching movies with me on the couch which I’m so grateful for. These last several weeks he’s been so just my boy. So here for me.”
Spadafora and her family moved to Ohio from Tavares in June 2021—about a year and a half before Reed’s death. But in the weeks since, support and sympathy have reached them from afar.
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“The outpouring of love that I have received from so many people here in the Ohio Valley, where I live, and in Lake County, Florida, has just been incredible,” Spadafora said. “He has made such a huge impact on the lives of peers and even younger kids.”
Because of that support, Spadafora is trying to bring Reed’s ashes back to Florida for a memorial service. She said his death is starting conversations among his friends, who are now addressing their own mental health.
“I need them to have their closure because Reed would need them to have their closure,” Spadafora said. “I need to do that for him, and for them, because I really love a lot of his friends.”
One of Reed’s best friends, Jonas Neilsen, said he was like a brother to him. Neilsen said they would play basketball, make music and videos and go on runs together.
“We started off (as) friends at church,” Neilsen said. “I was 8 and... he was 9 because he’s always been a year older, and we just clicked for real.”
Neilsen said he doesn’t remember much about the emotional day he found out his best friend had died, but he remembers what he felt.
“I just didn’t want to come to the mindset that he was gone from this world,” Neilsen said. “I know they took me to a room because I started crying and I was just asking, ‘What happened? Where is my brother? Where is my brother?’ And then it just started getting dark after that.”
He said Reed’s death is highlighting the stigma young men face when it comes to addressing their own mental health.
“Growing men, they’re going through a lot of stuff and people just expect us to keep it inside,” Neilsen said. “‘Be strong, you’re a boy, you gotta keep it up.’”
He said with people spewing phrases like that, it can be hard to share feelings because it can put you in a vulnerable position.
“People don’t like that because that’s like a state where you can get manipulated or used and nobody will want that,” Neilsen said. “I understand why boys are like that. But it’s bad. It’s really bad.”
In light of his friend’s death, Neilsen said he wants to see more of his peers vocalize their struggles among one another.
“I feel like boys should just talk more,” Neilsen said. “I do have a lot of female friends and they talk a lot about their situations and what they’re going through. It helps me understand like girls are more open but it’s not bad that boys should be like that too.”
Reed’s mother is currently raising money to be able to afford the trip to Florida to host a memorial for their friends and family.
Any unused funds will go toward creating a scholarship in Reed’s honor. To donate, click here.
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