When Michelle James visited Jacksonville, Florida for the first time from the U.K., she knew she needed to move there.
She was single, so she decided to start online dating. She figured she’d try searching in the Jacksonville area. Why not, right?
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That’s how she met Eric Holford.
“I met Eric online on a dating site and we were speaking for a good few months,” said James.
The hardest part was navigating the time difference between the U.K. and Florida.
“Sometimes he would call me when I’m at work or when I’m on my lunch break. And then when I got home, I would call him a lot of the time, he used to ride a lot. So he would call me when he was on his bike, I would be his company. It was quite sweet,” said James. “I’ve done online dating before. But when I met him, I think it was as if to say we’ve known each other a long time. We had a lot in common, we hit it off from day one.”
But there was a catch. Or at least, that’s the way Holford saw it—he warned James he had multiple sclerosis. But James didn’t see that as a deterrent to the relationship.
“I’m a social worker in the U.K. So you know, I deal with a lot of people, various different types of disabilities. So I understood what MS was and how debilitating it could be,” said James.
It wasn’t until James got to Jacksonville and they were married in 2014 that she realized the full extent of what Holford was dealing with.
“Looking at him, you would never know that this man had a disability. And I think that was the issue for him because people judged him on the outside without really understanding or realizing what’s going on the inside. You know, so even myself, I would look at him and I’m seeing this perfect, healthy human being,” said James. “But then I didn’t realize what he was going through. He was suffering with depression, he had psychological issues. He had confidence issues, I didn’t really see all that until a bit further down the line in the marriage.”
About six months in, James saw the effects of his mental health, when Holford decided to divorce her.
“He had severe trust issues, so wary of people because he always felt that there’s an ulterior motive. He’d meet people along the way, and he would put his trust in them, tell them what he’s going through. They would either walk away or throw it in his face. And so therefore he was always on guard. And I think he found me a bit challenging, because I’ve always been that type of person to stand up for myself and I don’t really back down so I think he kind of found that a bit intimidating,” said James. “And I said to him, ‘You can divorce me if it makes you happy, but I’m not going anywhere. I’ve made this commitment to you. And I’m here for the rest of my life.’ You know, because we had envisaged, my dream has always been like, sitting on the veranda when we get old, talking to movies, watching the stars, you know, that was always my thing.”
But that dream wasn’t to be.
In January 2016, after some time dealing with bowel issues and repeated trips to the emergency room, Holford was diagnosed with colorectal cancer at age 50. Despite still being divorced, James took up the position of dutiful wife, cooking for him, dropping off food, supporting Holford financially because he couldn’t work and wasn’t entitled to disability.
“I’ve never really liked to see him go without because I know that he had these medical issues, so I tried to support him in as much a way as I could, although we weren’t legally married anymore,” said James.
Holford went through chemotherapy and a proton treatment to try to shrink the tumor. Then late in the summer of 2016, they did surgery to remove the affected parts of the rectum and colon. Holford was left with a colostomy bag, something he really had wanted to avoid.
“I remember, I was sitting there, and they said, ‘Oh, we need to show you how to change the bag. I’d never dreamed in a million years that I’ll be able to do anything like that. But he didn’t want anyone else to touch him,” said James. “He hated me leaving the hospital because I was his mouth and ears you know? I would make sure that things got done. And then he came home and it was just me and him single handedly, no help whatsoever. It was the most scariest thing ever because I was so tired. It was a very hard time. Very hard time.”
It was at this point James learned more about Holford’s service in the Marine Corps and being stationed at Camp Lejeune from 1984 to 1988. Holford had been updating old friends on Facebook about his cancer status, and one of them told him the water contamination at Camp Lejeune, and suggested perhaps Holford’s cancer was a result of his time there.
“To me, it sounded so far-fetched, but because I’m the type of person that I’ll do research anyway, then I started to look it up. And so then I saw that there was this big group, this big Facebook group, and at that time, it was like 16,000 people in the group. So I joined the group and started asking questions and then started to become friends with a few people in the group,” said James.
At the time, with the Camp Lejeune Families Act of 2012, several conditions were approved for veterans who served on the base for healthcare coverage—but colorectal cancer was not one of them.
But James started to piece together all of Holford’s health conditions and started to think that despite his cancer not being covered, his illnesses were, in fact, a result of his time at Camp Lejeune.
“I believed in my heart that his cancers and illnesses were due to the water,” said James. “I started doing more research, looking at the chemicals and looking at the scientific evidence that was out there. And I said to myself, ‘I do believe this is because of this.’”
That belief was strengthened when Holford was then diagnosed with bladder cancer, for which he had surgery to remove a tumor. Just when they thought he was finally cancer-free in 2018, they got news that Holford had spots on his liver and lungs. The couple was remarried, and James continued to take care of Holford.
“I remember he was here, and he must have soiled himself. And he just started crying like a baby. I was saying to him, ‘It’s okay. Don’t worry,’” said James. “At that stage, he had urostomy bags as well. So he had one on either side, and then he had the colostomy bag. And so the urine bags have leaked all over the bedding, so I had to get up and strip him down and he was in tears. So it is quite heartbreaking, when the person that I knew is now, he’s a shadow of that person.”
In September 2019, Holford passed away at the age of 53.
After his death, James went back to trying to figure out the Camp Lejeune water situation. She said his being poisoned by the water is the only way to explain everything that happened to Holford, who by all accounts, died too young.
“To me, it wasn’t rocket science,” said James. “He had kidney disease, the tumor in the rectum, colon cancer, bladder cancer, the tumor removed from the bladder, then he had neurological disease. Then he had secondary neoplasm of the lungs. And even with the MS, his neurologist, I think they were quite surprised at how aggressive his MS was, considering he’d been on a particular treatment. So during that treatment, he shouldn’t have been at the stage where he was so it was very, very aggressive despite doing this treatment. So there are loads of question marks there.”
But the problem for James now is, even if she could prove Holford’s conditions were caused by the contaminated water, Holford left the Marines on an other-than-honorable, or OTH, discharge. Veterans with OTH discharges are not generally eligible for most VA benefits. That means although bladder cancer and kidney disease are presumptive service connections, James cannot be awarded benefits as a widow, and Holford’s care was never covered with the VA.
According to James, in hindsight, Holford’s discharge really should have been a medical discharge.
“He believed that he should have been discharged under medical conditions. And it’s my understanding, again from doing research, I’ve just completed the basic VA disability claims course. And in there, it does state that what used to happen if you’ve got like a personality disorder, or if you’re abusing alcohol, those could be signs of PTSD. But what the military used to do, they just used to write it off. And say, ‘Oh, you’ve got personality disorder.’ They did never link it to the PTSD. So, you know, I’m going back through his notes to see is there anything that we can do because he did have alcohol issues as well, after a certain period of time in there, and they’re saying that that could have been a sign of PTSD to what we know today. Personality disorder could have actually been a sign of PTSD. I know that some of those cases have been overturned.”
And that’s what James is fighting for now. She may not be able to get his OTH overturned and get back benefits, but she has filed under the lawsuit that’s allowed because of the PACT Act and hopes to be awarded compensation for herself and the children Holford has left behind.
“I mean, I’m not kind of delusional to think I’m going to get it, but I will try and my fight isn’t just for me alone. It’s for everybody else. So it’s not even about me, it’s not even about the widows. It’s for everybody,” said James.
