ORLANDO, Fla. – This week on “Black Men Sundays,” host Corie Murray interviews Doretha Thomas-Anthony, aka “Coach Dee.”
She’s the founder of Uniquely U Wellspace LLC, a company that features services meant to restore people’s lives and well-being through connecting them with resources such as business coaching and digital courses, advice on mitigating depression and anxiety and even “digitally holding your hand while you cry, again,” according to the website.
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Having worked for 28 years as a licensed nurse on several different floors, Coach Dee says she also focuses on helping caregivers and is able to offer them support for any mental, physical or emotional health challenge that presents itself. What’s always better than dealing with a problem as it’s happening, however, is preventing it in the first place.
“No. 1 is preparation, preparation and conversation. Preparing and having those conversations with the people around you — whether it’s your spouse, whether it’s your parents, if you have a sibling that, you know, may need care — whatever it might be, you have to have those conversations. It may even be uncomfortable, it may be uncomfortable to address those things, and when it comes down to the wealth part of it, it’s about having those conversations to see if your family members are financially ready to take care of themselves in the event that they need that care, and that has to start early,” she said. “We talk about putting money back for college tuition for our children, the same thing has to happen for your care later on in life. You may not need it, but what if you do? And most people will.”
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As she and Murray talked, they agreed that they saw more and more Black men taking care of their parents. Coach Dee said a key to making that happen successfully is not neglecting to take care of your own needs, too.
“It can be very challenging, because in most cases they are not prepared. They haven’t had those conversations, but if it were to happen, the first thing to do is to get advanced directives,” she said. “If there’s no cognitive impairment that has started, then have those conversations. ‘Mom, where do you where do you want to be buried?’ You know, ‘Do you want to live out the rest of your life in the home? Would you be open to going to a facility?’ Having those conversations. Find out if they’ve put any money back to help take care of these things.”
The way she sees it, you’d better have some money set aside either way and you’d better at least know who your parents’ doctors are.
“Although my dad has, you know, a pretty good income with today’s rates for staying in a facility and having someone take care of you day to day, it still wasn’t enough. So that preparation really needs to start early. If you are a child of a parent and you think you may become a caregiver, it’s OK for you to put back money that maybe you can (use to) help pay for a caregiver. It’s nothing wrong with doing that as well, but I don’t see a lot of people leaving their jobs, I don’t see that as much. What I see people do is try to balance and juggle the caregiver role while they work, which can be quite difficult.”
Hear the full interview in Season 3, Episode 16 of “Black Men Sundays.”
Black Men Sundays talks about building generational wealth. Check out every episode in the media player below.